Keep It Down!

MY NEIGHBOURS HAVE GOT TO TURN DOWN THEIR VOLUME!
I am trying to study and they're playing loud music with extremely gay beats!
I'm losing it! Argh! Gah! Ish!
I miss my previous neighbours...
They never made noise and they always invited us over for Raya.
*Sniff sniff* =(

I Write...

What's a blogger, really? Have you thought about that?

I've been blogging since I was 12. I have run out of things to write about that my blog has died countless times and come back to life again. Sometimes it's cause I really don't feel like blogging or I really want to blog but I just have nothing to blog about. But how true is the latter?

Being a staunch believer in the truth of all of Wikipedia's articles (=D), I Wiki-ed blogger and it gave me a very boring definition: a person who writes a blog. I define a blogger as a person who can take anything that happens in his/her life and make it interesting. Maybe it's just an excuse when I say I have nothing to blog about. Because being a blogger is taking even the most mundane occurrences in your life and making it sound like the exact opposite.

I blog because I love writing. I like how my thoughts can flow out through my fingers and become words. I like that my words can connect with another person and turn out to be the unspoken words of their heart which they found hard to express. Writing makes everything clear. It gives me insight about myself. It gives me insight about others. It is my avenue of expressions. It lets me say what I want to say the way I want to say it. Sometimes, I surprise even myself with the things I have written. Writing makes me happy. It gives me permission to speak from the heart. It is the swing and swirl of words that tangle with human emotions. It shows me how complex and yet how pure these emotions are.

Do you love writing but you think you can't? I used to think I couldn't. But when I start writing, I stop thinking. I just write from my heart. Write about anything and everything. Everything I see or experience, I find something to write about. Look closely and you'll soon realize that everything in life is writable. Haha. The best way to write is to fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. And along the way, you will discover yourself.

"The role of a writer is not to say what we all can say, but what we are unable to say." - Anais Nin

I have something to say and I want to be heard. And so, I write...

Someone Who Understands

When you're going through something, there are people who try to understand and people who actually do. Both are equally important to get you through whatever it is that you're facing. Here is a message from someone dear to me; someone who understands:

"hah. i think my first nervous breakdown was when i pushed 13 or something. lol. (: being messed up at this point of time is normal. trust me, i'm like the expert of stressing out. lol. i used to call you whenever i hit those moments last year. or maybe *** or **** or you know, good friends. try that? it helps so so much, manda. i want to say you can give me a call but i wouldn't want to disappoint you. in any case that you find that nobody's around, your mom will be there. if not, hey, you've always got Him, babe. i truly hope you're alright. i know the whole hurricane of emotions that can hit your weakest times. be strong okay? i always thought you were. have faith.

love, *****. (:"

Even if you weren't always around, I know that this is your way of being there for me. Thank you. =)

Strange Wilderness

I stayed up till 1.15 am to watch this movie y'day night. Haha. I don't think I've ever slept so late just to catch a movie. I've only ever stayed up till the wee hours of the morning to study... or when I came back from AAR. Haha.

OK, this movie is beyond funny! It made me laugh so hard that Jo even came out of the room and asked me when the movie would end. Lol. So here's what it's about: This guy called Peter Gaulke and his friend, Fred Wolf host a programme about wildlife called "Strange Wilderness", which is losing its viewership and its ratings are going downhill. So in a desperate bid to save the show, they hatch a plan to find Bigfoot and record an episode about it. The cast is pretty good, y'knw. In the lead is Steve Zahn and there's also Justin Long and Jonah Hill.

Oh my goodness. The movie is just scene after scene of stupid funny nonsense. Haha. They get into a series of accidents which are so funny. And then only they actually get into the jungle in which Bigfoot supposedly dwells. So the scene where they actually find Bigfoot, Gaulke starts talking to the camera and then Bigfoot appears outside the cave. Bigfoot stretches and yawns. And everyone screams and points at Bigfoot, then Gaulke turns around and screams too. Then they all start whipping out huge guns and shoot Bigfoot to death while still screaming. Hahahaha. After all that they went through to find Bigfoot, in an action done on the spur of the moment, they killed him. Lol. Then what happens after that is also so funny. Hehe.

Ah. Just writing this out is making me laugh in front of the monitor. I went and IMDB-ed the movie, and it has pretty poor ratings. But y'knw, no matter how stupid or even how good people say something is (a movie, a book, whatever), you gotta let yourself be the judge of it; cause maybe it'll crack you up and give you a reason to stay up way past your bedtime =D

Let Me Go

Do you love me enough to let me go?
Do you love me enough to let me go?
To let me follow through
To let me fall for you
Do you love me enough to let me go?

- "Enough To Let Me Go" by Switchfoot

Burger Ramly

Comfort food on a rainy night : )

Reach Out Your Hands

A quote that I hold very close to my heart. Just wanted to share. =]

"We would accomplish many more things
if we did not think them impossible."
Vince Lombardi, Jr.

So reach out for your dreams.
Reach as far and as deep and as high as you can.
Because they may not be as far as you think they are. =)

Conversations, Conversations

I was late for school - as usual. It's funny how now I'm always late. I used to be early everyday. Anyway, the HM gave her last speech this morning. And I wasn't really concentrating but she was saying that there were two things she wished would change but still hasn't for the past ten years:

i) MGS girls' ultimate hobby: talking and talking and talking
ii) I forgot this one, haha

And y'knw, it's so true. I talk a lot. On just about anything. I think about the next thing to talk about. And then I talk about that. But they don't mean anything. Cause they're just empty talk.

I like having conversations that mean something. Where you talk about how you feel, what you think, your hopes and fears. Anything, just as long as it means something. Conversations like these give me glimpses of the person behind the person. I always feel so thankful when I get to see the real thing. That I was given the chance to know this part that not a lot of people reach. That this other person trusts me enough to open up to me. That this other person wants me to know THIS about himself/herself. Once in awhile, I get to see the heart. But it's not easy. You gotta work for it. You gotta put in effort to reach someone's heart. Hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earned.

Meaningful conversations only happen once in awhile. And they catch you by surprise. You don't plan to have them. But when you get close enough, they just happen. These conversations always leave me feeling good inside. Like it was time well spent. When I talk about conversations, I don't just mean those with words. Hehe. Yup, you can still have a conversation in silence. And I think that when you can spend time in comfortable silence with someone, the friendship that you both share is really something. It's just knowing that the other person's there eventhough you're both busy doing different things. I call it basking in each other's company.

I don't want to know a lot of people and then realize that I don't actually know them. Cause if it was that way, then the people I know are just acquaintances that make up a list of people I've come to know over the course of my life. It would be sad if that happened to me... or to anyone, really.

When I get to know a new person, I always think that it could be the start of something. But then nothing happens and over time, it's just, "Oh yeah, I know you. Hi." And it's OK when it ends up like that, because there are friendships that are meant to bloom and others that are just always gonna be buried underground. But there are also those that bloomed and then withered. I tried to save those friendships. I dunno if there's such a thing as a friendship expiry date. Lol. But I guess some friendships have that. Maybe both changed, or maybe both didn't change but somehow it just doesn't feel the same. Even if you tried, it's not gonna work because that friendship has kind of gone past its time. Like how no one uses Friendster anymore. XD So then you just let it go. Wave goodbye and say that it was good when it lasted.

I for one know that it's not enough for me to want the friendship to work. This is an expression that I don't actually use and that I cannot do literally: it takes two to tango. And how true. Because friendship is something that all of us treasure and value. It is the creation of a new energy that wasn't there before. It is a breath of fresh life in our dull lives. A new person. A new friendship. A new adventure. But quite frankly, friendship is quite frightening. It can be exciting and exhausting. Even so, we live deprived lives if we live without friends.

It's enough to have a small circle of friends. In the end, numbers don't mean a thing. Even with a small circle of friends, you may not know each of them so well. That's why when you get friends, regardless of whether they are old or new friends, you gotta let it take its natural course. Give it time to allow it to develop. You don't know where it's gonna lead to and whether or not you turn out to be close friends or just friends. But when you get friends who become really close, then that's when you put in the extra effort to keep 'em that way. Have conversations - all kinds of conversations - silly ones, serious ones, silent ones. Sometimes I don't realize who matters, but when I do, I can only count myself lucky that I haven't lost those friendships. And if you have friends like that, you're lucky too =]