The Human Race

Look at us. Running around. Always rushed, always late. I guess that's why they call it the human race. What we crave most in this world is connection. 

And sometimes, the human race slows down just enough for all the pieces to fall into place. Fate works its magic. And you're connected.

A day well spent with my two besties: Carissa and Xin-Ee. :)

Plus, I got to see a freaking sweet Lamborghini.

O Time, Thou Art A Cruel Thing

I've made up my mind that some people are born to be late. For instance, me. No matter what I have to do, as long as it has to do with going somewhere and reaching that place at a specific time, I fail - again and again. Try as I might, I am ALWAYS late. It seems to me that the universe has been conspiring against me each time I go the extra mile to be on time.

Before I tell you my story, let me give you a blow-by-blow of my college mornings. Usually, I wake up at 6:40 and wander around half-asleep doing what I have to do (wash up, dress up, pack up). Then I'll get in the car and you see, the thing is, Butter's clock is 10 minutes slow. So everytime I get in the car, the clock shows 6:50. Don't ask me why I can't see the discrepancy between the time I wake up and the time I get in the car. In the mornings, I am not actually awake. Anyway, when I see Butter's clock showing 6:50, I go, "Ah. Good time, good time. I'm not late." To my horror, I arrive at SS15 with barely 5 minutes left to my first lesson and a parking spot that I am less than happy with.

So about today. As the new SAM students have their orientation and I will be sending Wei Lyn to college, I decided to wake up at 6:30. I didn't want her to have a reputation of being late among her new classmates (yes, thank you, I am very kind, hahaha). But something came up so Ben was supposed to send us today. I was up and ready bright and early (in my book, that's prepped for college at 6:50 ALREADY). There was a delay and Ben only came at 7:30. Imagine that! Crazy jam made me arrive in college at 8:30. You may say that me being late was not my fault, but Ben's. But the way I see it, it's not Ben's fault either. It's just that rule that applies to me. That whole forever-and-always-will-be-late-no-matter-how-hard-I-try-not-to-be rule.

There are SO MANY examples that I could tell you:

1) Y'day, I had every good intention in the world to be at Kwang Hua at 1:15 to pick Carissa. But somehow, time, like a thief, crept around me and what do ya know, I only left home at 1:15. And I was so careful at making sure that I checked the time periodically. I have no idea how I was late.

2) Last Sunday, I promised to be in church at 10:00. Then I had to pick Xin-Ee, so OK, I woke up at 9:00 instead of my usual half an hour later. I thought I had some time to kill so I read the newspapers. Before I knew it, it was 9:45 and I had so little time to get ready.

3) The previous Saturday, I had to pick Jo from tuition class and go for dinner with Pastor Gid and a few others from church. I organized my time and made sure that I didn't watch more Parenthood episodes than I can handle. When Jo called, I quickly gathered my things and boom-shaka-laka, I was out the door and driving Butter all the way to Southern Park. But abnormally so, there were many cars and I ended up being pretty late for dinner.

4) Being barely on time for college exams more than once. I wish with all my heart that none of you will ever, ever have to experience arriving 10 minutes before an AS Level examination that is on the 3rd freaking floor which you MUST climb by stairs and not to mention having parked DEEP in the housing area FAR AWAY from college. Oh, and to be absolutely true to what happened, think of yourself as a hardly healthy girl who was last in a gym in Form 3 and for a record time of 10 minutes. If you do not want to put yourself in my shoes, then think of yourself as an onlooker. Imagine me running frantically and pulling out my stationery and student ID at the same time. Really, you DO NOT want that to happen to you. Not even once.

5) Countless times of meaning to be in school early as I only live 5 minutes away end with me making Jessica, Yoke Pei and Lynnette wait. Then I'll make a siuper dramatic but totally unnecessary entrance for whatever I was supposed to be in school for.

Why, oh, why? Are good intentions not enough to bend the universe in my favour? Hahaha. Oh well, not that this rule is gonna stop me from trying to be on time. I'm still gonna make the effort to not be the last one arriving for everything that I attend. But if - when - it happens, would you be so kind as to remember this post and forgive me for always being, as I say it, fashionably late? :)    

XX

I knew it could happen. I saw it happen. Before this, it didn't mean anything to me. 'Cause I knew it wouldn't happen to me. But it did. So quickly, too. Now I think I've changed. If not completely, at least mostly. And I'm not sure I like it. There's a joy that I can't describe, but there's an insecurity that reminds me of the past. There's an anticipation that gives me direction, but there's a warning sign fighting for my attention. Is it true that some things I have no control over? Does anyone really know me?

An Ugly Fact of Life

I think relationships are so changeable. You don't have to do anything. Just stand back and watch. Tap your feet to keep count of the seconds that turn into minutes which become hours and stretch into days... and days. Run through the names of the people you love the most, and let yourself feel any distance between you and them. Do something about it.

Happy New Year!

I know I am 11 days late, but Happy New Year! Haha. I have been so inconsistent, but that is only because I have been so busy. December was the craziest month ever. Sarawak - Hong Kong - Ipoh - Singapore. Luas permandangan, jauh pengalaman. Lol.

But now I'm back. And for once, being at home doesn't feel like I'm waiting in transit. I can actually sit at home and say to myself, "I'll be here for awhile." Haha.

Anyway, my 2010 has been a good year. Got off to a rough start but it's the ending that matters, yes? My ending was a great one. I ended on a high note. Once again, the only things that you remember at the end of a year is the people that made it awzum. It's the same for me. But I don't really wanna name any names. Haha.

Other than that, last year really taught me a lot, and most of it in the month of December. Haha. It is strange that you learn your lessons at the very last moment. I can only say that before this I thought I saw everything clearly, but after December, I've gained some perspective. Very little matters. Life can be stripped down to two things - people and GOD. But many things get in the way. And you forget to check to see if you're really seeing things clearly. Sooner or later, you just assume that everything is clear and just as they're supposed to be - that the way you view the world is correct, that what you think is important really is important.

Together with what I mentioned, I also learned the importance of discipline. Everything requires discipline. Sitting here and typing out my thoughts requires discipline. (And clearly, I have not exercised much discipline in regards to my blog. Nyehehe.)

In closing, I cannot tell you much about 2011 yet. All I know is that this year is scarier than last year for me. I was sort of freaking out last year... and the year before that, and before that. Haha. I wish that I would stop getting so worked up about a new year, because each year is just going to be scarier. You just gotta learn to take it easy each year. Little by little, as the year progresses, you figure out more about the year, and it becomes more familiar and less scary. But just before things get boring, thank goodness for surprises. Hehe. So here's to wishing you an inspired year - full of good, great things and also bad things (to remind you that the good things truly are good) and altogether, they're worth remembering.