Today I turn seventeen.

Today I become a year older.

Today I inch closer to becoming an adult.

The past sixteen years don't really feel like a long time. Maybe that's because I don't really remember many of my birthdays. I was never one to throw a big bash everytime June 8th came around. I just hoped that something special would happen. Haha.

Each time I get a year older, I hope I become a better person than I was on this very day a year ago. I don't want to think about the person I was last year and realize that I am the very same person today. I want to always be changing - for the better. I want to be growing, not just by number, but as a person. I want to say to myself, "You're making progress. Keep looking ahead. It's all going fine." And I can say that to myself. Cause I guess I really am a different person from the person I was last year. I'm happy with who I am right now.

But each time I get a year older, I also become more aware of how afraid I am of the future. I am so fearful and so scared of how things are gonna be. For most of my life, I've been in a really comfortable zone. I don't even know how it feels to be out of it. And when I let these thoughts fill my head and I find it hard to breathe, it takes some time but I always, always remember to look up. And I can hear God say: "My plan for your future is filled with hope. For I love you with an everlasting love. And I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul. If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me. And I will show you great and marvelous things. Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart." And on this day, I can hear Him whisper, "Happy Birthday." =)

This year, I celebrated my birthday. At the end of the day, I thought to myself, "What would be my perfect birthday?" Then I thought about all the people whom I love, and how my perfect day would be celebrating my birthday with all of them. But there were different people and I had to celebrate with them at different times. Cause they were different parts of my life. And I realized that I was just being greedy. Because I only had 24 hours, and it wasn't enough. Then I thought about it again. If I really had to decide, who would be the ones that I wanted to spend the day with? And I came to the conclusion that today... today... was my perfect birthday.

Happy 17th to me! XD