Have umbrella, will travel. Preferably a yellow one that flies me up high. :)

Fear is contagious. You can catch it. Sometimes all it takes is for 

someone to say that they're scared for the fear to become real.

That Awkward Moment...

Lately I've been coming across this line a lot: "That awkward moment when..." At first, it was just another opening to some sentence. But I kept reading it almost everywhere. So it got me thinking, our lives are essentially made up of moments. Just tiny moments that build up and form memories and experiences. It's the tiny details that piece together the larger picture. You can always break it down to a molecular level and start from there, 'cause it's the beginning. And sometimes, those small moments recur over and over again. The funny thing is each time it happens, it doesn't become less awkward. It's always that awkward. D'you realize that? Haha.

So anyway, here's my own list of that awkward moment...

When I sit at the table during lunch with my bunch of friends and suddenly everyone becomes silent. And each of us are just racking our brains to think of what to say next, anything at all, just something.

When someone says something to me or about me and I have no idea how to react. In decelerated response, I stare at them quizzically and quickly look down or away but I can still feel them looking at me. Lol. 

When I'm cheering for the wrong team on FIFA 11 and both my friends don't tell me until I start to find it suspicious how they keep laughing and saying stuff like, "She still doesn't get it yet."

When I accidentally drop chocolate pieces down my shirt and unfortunately, someone saw it happen. A-W-K-W-A-R-D!

When I switch on a movie for my parents and I sit through it with them but I'm holding my breath 'cause I don't know if there is any explicit content in it (you can never know with movies these days, tsk tsk). And when there is, I can't leave 'cause then I'd look guilty. Hahaha.

When someone calls me and we spend the time in between speaking with um's and ah's and then an abrupt, "so, yeah, bye". (Silence is worse when you're on the line, 'cause if you were face-to-face, you could look away and pretend to be occupied with something else.)

When I'm walking around SS15 with my pillow in my arms.

When I jump on stage and start playing the guitar with gusto - eyes closed and rock'n'roll mode - but someone signals to me that my cable is not even plugged in. Yes, this actually happened. Sooooo awkward, not to mention embarrassing. Hehe.


When I'm with a friend and we're deliberating whether or not to cross the road but he does and I'm left there looking stupid. Lol.

OK lah. That's about all I can come up with that's happened to me. At the end of the day, I love awkward moments. Besides being awkward, they're usually always funny. *Grins*  

No, actually I did.

Amanda

I read this somewhere. Now you read it. ;)


Never trust girls whose name starts with A. Ariel, she’s a mermaid but you’re a hydrophobic. Alice is in wonderland and you can’t catch her. Anneliese, too pretty a name for anyone. Anna, palindromes are just tricks that break your heart. Annabelle will just be Anna. Then Amanda, oh Amanda, she has gold streaks in her hair and a golden smile. She dresses in indigo and moves in electrifying speed. You haven’t met her but you want to. She swirls in sonorous purrs and detaches like soft bubbles, she speaks in silver bells and changes her eye colour everyday. She flies kites that remind you of a childhood you never had. She lights fireworks and escapes into tunnels at night. She plays hide and seek and always wins. She wears shoes as tall as skyscrapers but falls gracefully when she trips. She can pronounce Hermès, Jean Paul Gaultier, Lacroix with perfected flair but she doesn’t know syncope, tachycardia or syphilis. She dreams of diamonds and waterfalls in summer. Her skin is scented orchids... And she’s leaving today, tonight.

The one thing that I look forward to seeing in IKEA everytime. =]

What Happened?

The last time I wrote here was 26/3. Mm. It's been too long.

Scanning my archive, I realized that my blog was really, really active a year ago. And that's about right. 'Cause a year ago was when things started to change. I started to change. Right now, that's the problem. I'm just not as dreamy and wide-eyed and trusting as I used to be. I don't have the courage to tell things anymore. I've lost being able to express myself with words.

I miss that me. What happened? Half of me has no friggin' idea. And the other half knows, albeit vaguely, the reason behind it. So yeah, I'm only 19 (heck, not even 19 yet) but I already feel jaded and world-weary. Haha. Although that may be due to the fact that I'm an old soul, but y'know, Imma give myself the benefit of the doubt. Let's just say that my head is no longer as high up in the clouds as they were before. Is this what growing up feels like? Ugh. Tak suka.

Now, to you, has that ever happened? You look back and you look at yourself now, and you go, "Damn, what happened?" 'Cause when I started out, I had a jump in my step and a go-out-and-seize-life-by-the-hands spirit. And now, I'm just dragging my feet. I've been keeping it in for a year too long. The only thing I can think of doing is what I know I (used to) do best: write about it. And then again, I'm not actually telling you the whole story. 'Cause according to my friends, I suck like that. So yeah, take this and make what you will of it. I think that's more fun. Lol.

Alas, I'm hoping that maybe the me before is still around. 'Cause I don't think we change completely. Surely there are certain parts that remain that cross over to Me 2.0 or You 2.0. And as John Mayer says it, when I finally "figure out what's wrong with me," I won't exactly be able to say, "This is the way I used to be," BUT I'll be able to say, "There you are. I knew you were there somewhere." :)