What Happened?

The last time I wrote here was 26/3. Mm. It's been too long.

Scanning my archive, I realized that my blog was really, really active a year ago. And that's about right. 'Cause a year ago was when things started to change. I started to change. Right now, that's the problem. I'm just not as dreamy and wide-eyed and trusting as I used to be. I don't have the courage to tell things anymore. I've lost being able to express myself with words.

I miss that me. What happened? Half of me has no friggin' idea. And the other half knows, albeit vaguely, the reason behind it. So yeah, I'm only 19 (heck, not even 19 yet) but I already feel jaded and world-weary. Haha. Although that may be due to the fact that I'm an old soul, but y'know, Imma give myself the benefit of the doubt. Let's just say that my head is no longer as high up in the clouds as they were before. Is this what growing up feels like? Ugh. Tak suka.

Now, to you, has that ever happened? You look back and you look at yourself now, and you go, "Damn, what happened?" 'Cause when I started out, I had a jump in my step and a go-out-and-seize-life-by-the-hands spirit. And now, I'm just dragging my feet. I've been keeping it in for a year too long. The only thing I can think of doing is what I know I (used to) do best: write about it. And then again, I'm not actually telling you the whole story. 'Cause according to my friends, I suck like that. So yeah, take this and make what you will of it. I think that's more fun. Lol.

Alas, I'm hoping that maybe the me before is still around. 'Cause I don't think we change completely. Surely there are certain parts that remain that cross over to Me 2.0 or You 2.0. And as John Mayer says it, when I finally "figure out what's wrong with me," I won't exactly be able to say, "This is the way I used to be," BUT I'll be able to say, "There you are. I knew you were there somewhere." :)