I'm Growing Up! ='(

OK. I know I just posted something like, 10 minutes ago. But I just wanted to talk about what I'm gonna talk about.

Yes, that is me above. Haha. I was a fat kid. Quite ugly lah. Lol. No fashion sense also. But that kid looks nothing like me now. Right? Or am I wrong? Can you see me in that picture? Haha.

So anyway, I was having a conversation with Mum about what I wanna do after Form 5. Cause she keeps asking me what I wanna do, and I keep saying that I dunno yet. Haha. It's strange how when I was younger I always had an ambition. I knew what I wanted to be. Every year my ambition changed, but at least I had an ambition. Now I don't even have one. Lol. So we were just talking about what I could do and where I could be in future, cause I definitely don't wanna stay here in Mah-lai-siah.

Then I was thinking about how Jo's gonna go off to aviation academy in two years, God willing. And how my brother's working here and my sister's working in Singapore. I realized that me and Jo were growing up and reaching that stage of life where you leave your family. And it made me sad because I didn't realize that the family I have now, well, it's always gonna be my family but I'll have my own immediate family. It's like this immediate family will be replaced by my immediate family. Get it? This period of time that I have, it'll be ending in a few years. And it'll be kinda sad when me and my siblings all are based in different countries. I'm really thankful that I'm close to my siblings. Cause if I wasn't, then in the future, we'd be estranged or something.

But I'm really sure that we'll always be a close family. It's just that the realization that I'm growing up and turning into a young adult; it sounds so lonely, as if you're all on your own once you're an adult.

I guess as a teenager I always think I'll never grow old. I only imagine as far as 10 years ahead. But I never actually stop and think about me being 40 or 60. That age where you're plagued with health problems and all that. I'll miss being young. And even if I realize it, there's really no way you can actually treasure it. I've tried to cherish my time, and then in future, when I look back, I remember that I said to myself that I treasured it, but I don't feel anything. Haha. Yoh. I dunno if I'm making sense. Lol. OK lah, that's all. Hehe.