23

I felt for sure last night
That once we said goodbye
No one else will know these lonely dreams
No one else will know that part of me

I'm still driving away
And I'm sorry every day
I won't always love these selfish things
I won't always live, not stopping

It was my turn to decide
I knew this was our time
No one else will have me like you do
No one else will have me, only you

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here, I'm now, I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Amazing still it seems
I'll be 23
I won't always love what I'll never have
I won't always live in my regrets

You'll sit alone forever
If you wait for the right time
What are you hoping for?
I'm here, I'm now, I'm ready
Holding on tight
Don't give away the end
The one thing that stays mine

Went to watch "John Tucker Must Die" wit Yan Teng, Lin Kee, Chew Yong & Lavenya. Entered Cinema 8 at exactly 1120 AM. Show already started rolling. But it was quite an enjoyable film. Haha. Laughed quite a lot. Oh, and Teng spilt Coke on the guy sitting beside her. LOL!! She's sooooo clumsy. My goodness. Kee summore terlupa to switch her phone on silent. Apart frm tht, evryting went fine.

After tht, we hung around for a bit, whr we bumped into Wei Lyn & Niroshah. Then had lunch at Pizza Hut wit the free voucher frm NiE we had. Wanted to sit upstairs, but Teng freaked out cos she saw a fren of hers. Bla bla bla. Sat for awhile, then Yoke Pei, Jas Min & Rayel appeared. [What is this, man? So many ppl we knw.]

When we were done eating, walked around again. Teng so many of her frens, frm various skls in Klang. There was this guy who started saying "Hi" to us eventho we didn't knw him. Reminder to self : Ask Chuan Keat abt tht guy frm HSK. Met Ciuyi, who was there wit two frens. And when we were in Memory Lane, I saw a Convent girl I knew frm tuition, but she didn't c me. Hehe. Tht day, we saw A LOT of ppl we knew.

Now I'm home and so tired. Sigh. Ggn. Bye, blog.

I am SO absent-minded! Jus played badminton at the Dewan KO wit Han, Wei Shern & Jo. Lik always, I got so excited tht I didn't do warm-ups, and I got so lazy tht I didn't do warm-downs. Gah. Now I'm aching. Hahaha.

Anyway, we played for lik, 1 hr 30 mins. Of cos, me and Han won 4 out of 5 sets against Jo & Wei Shern. Lol. Sum unknown guy came and played wit us after Wei Shern left. He was quite good.

Too bad my fingers are so pain tht I can't type. Hehe. So, well, I had lots of fun playing. Tutor, y tak dtg? T_T But nvm lah, you already promised to cum nxt time =D

As you all knw, I lost my phone y'day. So, today, Dad brought us all out to his factory to hve curry laksa for breakfast. Then, we went to Subang Parade to get phones (me and my younger bro). I'm so happy! I got the one I wanted. Only one store had it. And we were the first customer for tht model. Mum and Dad bought the Z610i for me. And Jo got a W700i. Both Sony Ericsson's. I'm overjoyed, man! Every grey cloud has a silver lining. But, thank You for giving me such wonderful, generous parents! I tot tht we'd be banned frm getting canggih phones after this. Lol. So, I hve a new number, and I need your numbers again. Tell me on MSN or sumting. I really appreciate it!

The day started out fair enough. When morning service at KGH was over, we had breakfast at Modern, then decided to go to IKEA. Arrived at IKANO Power Centre around 1145 AM? Bought a swivel chair for me, a pink (my dad said it looked real sissy, but Jo said white and black didn't match) one for Jo, sumting of an easy chair for Dad and other small stuff.

Btw, I lost my phone. Don't ask me how. It's devastating enough jus thinking of it. No, it wasn't my careless-ness and no, it wasn't completely my fault. Yes, it was difficult. But I realized I didn't feel really upset. When Ko Jack brought me around to search for it, we knew it was hopeless, but I kept praying nonetheless. And the ringing tone was still there, which means no one found it yet. The search turned out fruitless. Went to customer service and issued an urgent announcement: "Lost black-and-grey Samsung phone. Kindly return to main entrance counter." Of cos I cried. Tho I got over it after tht. Cos I committed evryting to GOD - whether or not I got it, I'd leave it to Him. And it feels so good to jus leave it to Him, ya knw? Worries are gone. Cos I knew He knew this was gonna happen, so He also knws whether or not I'd get my phone bak. Get me? Dad said he'd get me another one after I looked so down. We tried calling again, and this time it was switched off. Therefore, sumone found it and didn't bother to return it [so terribly bad-hearted]. So I lost my beautiful number, but I'll go to the DiGi centre tmrw and work things out.

Anyway, Ko bought me magazines and food today. I wanted to try the Daim cake, so he bought the frozen type cos we couldn't try it warm and fresh frm the restaurant upstairs. Tht's all I did lah today. Now I'm sitting on my younger bro's pink chair. It's plastic.

Deepavalli Valtekel! =D

I'M SPENT!


Haha. So full, man! I'm jus bak frm Lavenya's hse (now I knw whr it is, hehe). OK, 2006's Deepavalli was the first time I'm actually celebrating this, um, celebration. Lol. I woke up at 740 AM, altho Jolene txt-ed me at 703 AM [so early, ryte?]. When it was 11 AM, Chew Yong & Seah Yih came over to my hse, whr we waited for an hour till Lin Kee turned up. She was, what, 45 mins past her scheduled time. But, reminder, we're talking abt Lin Kee. Hahaha.

So, we took awhile to find Pune-chan's hse, cos the "LORONG SERAMPANG 8" sign was totally obscured by a mango tree. Haha. Buthen we found it at last, and she was waiting for us outside, looking resplendent in her Punjabi (pronunced Pan-jaa-bee, as Lavenya repeatedly corrected me) suit. Had sum cookies/candies, then we ate chicken curry, mutton curry, mixed vege... all with rice. After tht, sat around, looked at pics.

Pune-chan was telling me abt her maid. She said she showed our class photo to her before, and the maid said I looked sweet. *Grins* Then Pune-chan told her maid tht I was the one in the photo, and her maid said, "Cantik lah." *Wider grin* Oh yes, another thing. Pune-chan's dog is dead adorable! She's called Snowie or Snowy (I dunno which) and she's a Golden Retriever. When all of us crowded in her humble abode in the back of the house, she got all shy and slightly petrified by the sudden presence of one too many persons. Once in awhile she'd approach us when we tried to coax her, then she'd retire into her little corner. Haha. Then we left her alone.

At 2 PM, Lavenya came to pick us up. Before we left, Pune-chan's dad gave us green packets (Deepavalli's equivalent of ang pau). D'you knw tht Lavenya stays near Mrs Kao?! I didn't knw. Anyway, when we arrived, Lavenya's bro's frens were there: sum Upper Form guys. It's really annoying, cos they were "whoa"-ing when we came, but, who cares? Only Chew Yong noticed, in fact. Hehe.

Began with cookies/candies again. My fave is definitely the jam tart! Haha. Ate so much of tht. Must've added on sum pounds. Lol. I got kind of confused cos Lavenya was talking abt her aunt, her mum, her sis... then I messed up who they were n all. Cos they're all wearing identical suits, so, well... whatever. After tht, we had our 2nd lunch. Haha. This time there was this rolling/spinning thing with the dishes in compartments. Dishes served were kurma, coleslaw (which Pune-chan thought was bubur), mutton curry (but of cos), fried chicken (fantastic!), chicken (coated with sum kind of, sum kind of, sum kind of, sumting lah, but this was delicious too). Pune-chan & Lavenya were lik, "You're s'pose to pour the kurma on your rice before you take anything else lah." How was I s'pose to knw? And why'd they pick on me, there's lik 3 more others, ya knw? Lol. I had Sprite ICE, hehe. I was bursting at the seams (not literally, jus figuratively) but I realized I haven't tried the fried chicken. Chew Yong suggested we shared one. And I don't regret eating more at all. Haha. The fried chicken was marvellous (=P)!

When we were all done, went upstairs to Lavenya's room. Me & Lin Kee were messing with Pune-chan & Lavenya's shawls. Rather itchy, but ya get used to it after awhile. Looked thru pics of Lavenya's ceremony. So ruddy funny! I laughed lik mad when I saw the first pic. It was a close-up, with make up and all. Haha. But you wouldn't get it if you didn't see it. Next, we discussed abt this Friday. Got our plans settle and confirmed. All we hve to do is wait for the day to come.

Left at 415 PM. Paid our gratitude to the parents. Lavenya's dad sent us all home. Now I'm here, completing this post. It was a wonderful day! My first real Deepavalli was indeed a memorable experience. Nice weather, too, don't ya think? =)

LAVENYA & YAN TENG DID NOT CUM TO SKL TODAY. I can't believe it! Last day and they totally let us (me, Lin Kee & Pune-chan) down. Called Teng and she was actually outside, not wearing skl uniform and not intending to enter the skl. What the -? And I s'pose Lavenya's busy making Deepavalli candies, so tht's acceptable, except tht she already finished doing 'em y'day.

Anyway, today was boring. Kee finished my blouse for Living Skills. You knw, evrytime we get an assignment, it feels impossible to finsih it, but sumhow, I end up getting it done, either alone or with help. I was doing sumting for Pn Pari, and Chew Yong was completing her "jelujur halus" whereas Kee was... I dunno what she was doing lah. But me and Yong was listening to the iPod so we weren't tht bored. They said they were caught by a Form 1 prefect, but she only gave a warning. Haha. But when skl begins again, she'll nvr see the iPod. But tht day, Pune-chan and Yong used the iPod the most. They said my taste in music was good cos all my songs were very nice =D

Then, had break with Jolene. After tht, we continued walking for, lik, 15 mins? I guess both of us were the only ones still thinking it was recess. Haha. When Pn Asmah entered class, I decided to go hantar the BKK. So, when I was walking bak, Jing Yee was calling me, so I entered 2E. She got up and stood beside me and asked Yien Wee: "Who's taller?" "Manda," said Wee. "I hate you, Manda," said Jing Yee. Tho I knw she didn't mean it, cos she wished me "Happy Deepavalli" after skl ended. Lol. Anyway, the reason I was in 2E was cos Jia Yee wanted to ask me abt Jolene - again. Then I started conversing with Wee in Cantonese, and Jia Yee & Robyn were eagerly listening. They understood bits and pieces of the conversation, and it was quite fun hearing them guess what we were saying and they were attempting to speak with us in Cantonese too. Haha.

Sumting else happened when skl ended. I was in the bus stop, then I remembered tht my iPod was with Kee. Haha. She always goes home with my stuff. But tht's partly my fault. Then I was, "Whr's my wallet ah?" Kee looked at me with wide eyes. "I don't hve it." "No, I don't hve it either." "Oh, oh, lost it?" asked Chew Yong. "Class? Desk?" I tot aloud. "Sure it's not in ur pocket?" Chew Yong said. "It isn't," I said. "Faster!" yelled Kee. Then we were running lik mad bak to the gate. Ran into 2H and searched under 3 desks. My wallet was a no show. Then, we were huffing and puffing when we returned to the bus stop. I checked my backpack, and, *groans*, it was there. Hahaha. I am definitely the worst! Chew Yong was, "Ah! Shoulda checked before you went." "I was afraid the gate was closed mah. Summore I expected you to check cos you were saying there was a possibility, then I tot if you found it you'd run after us." Oh well, I've got my wallet anyway. Thank GOD! Haha. Even if this is irrelevant, but GOD is involved in evryting tht happens - even the tiniest things.

P.S. Acceptance's drummer really rocks on "Take Cover".

I had a great day today. Tho it didn't turn out tht way at first. Anyway, I stopped at Subang Parade to get me games. I got Counter Strike II (yay!) and CSI III (hahaha, I hope I don't get freaked out by the gore or sumting lik wit "Jack the RIpper" and I nvr touched tht CD again, lol, don't even knw whr it is!) After sending my bro to the MPSJ field, me and Mum left for Mid Valley. FIrst thing we did was get me "Harry Potter & the Half-Blood Prince". There was this unwrapped one and a wrapped one but the US cover version. I txt Ko to ask him which one to get. He said follow the theme I already hve. So I got the normal one lah.

Walked so much, frm Topshop to Miss Selfridge to Dorothy Perkins to Zara to MNG. Hahaha. But I didn't mind. Mum bought me two tops frm Roxy. Actually, more lik I entered finding for a bottle, then I saw it, and I totally fell for it, and I jus had to get it. Besides, we got this 20% voucher and I could collect points for my card. So the one tht caught my eye immediately was this faded yellow (ah, my fave colour!) T-shirt with imprint on front and back and then I went over to the collared shirts section, and Mum saw this green polo which she said I should get. It was kind of expensive jus for a collared shirt, so I said, "No need." Mum was lik, "Nvm, jus take it." Hahaha. Wonderful! In the end, both tops only cost RM167.90, loads cheaper than how much it might've been [which is... well, I dunno how much it might've been].

Then we got my fave snack. If u ever go to Mid Valley, u HVE to check out Gogo Franks on the LG floor. It's so great! Me and Ko stumbled upon it once cos this gal was handing out samples, and it was the Prata Sausage, and we ordered 'em straight away. It's actually sausage in roti canai with toppings and stuff. But the sausage makes all the difference. There's cheese, black pepper and satay. I shun black pepper, so cheese is nice (oozing with, um, cheese) and the satay is real tasty! Go get it! Their lemongrass lemon drink is very special also. Cos of the "serai" there's a sharp, pungent tinge after u drink it. Hehe. Tht's all I did lah today.

Exams are over. This coming week, all MGS-ians will be free... or not? Skl's decided to hold loads of "fun" activities for us. The way they put it is more troubling and disturbing than cause for excitement.

Four days straight, there's gonna be lots of things going on to keep us frm "gejala yg memudaratkan". Why does the DP always hve to speak lik she's giving a speech or sumting? It's lik she totally mapped out evryting she wanted to say before actually saying it.

Anyway, the main highlight will be:

*drumroll*


Y O G A


Yep, tht's right, folks. Us secondary students r going to b taking up yoga! But I guess I might not, cos, it's against the Christian religion, I tink. Either way, I'm gonna ask Adrian or CCC this Sunday. So while Pn. Nor Chadah (who's teaching yoga, could u imagine? Her voice dahlah so soft, n she plans to spread the pupils across the field, the icky, yucky, home to who knws wat field) explained to us abt how it helpd her 2 yrs ago, n she learnt frm Indian gurus, took away her asthma, how it'll help giv us motivation, to make us succeed in evryting we do. How does contorting parts of our body which definitely aren't flexible cos we - or rather, I - haven't been doing much of wat u'd call exercise help to create a better mind for us? I can't see the light! There's almost no point. N we hve to bring our own mats. Mayb I'll jus sew (not tht I can, haha) sum Good Morning towels together n sit n watch since I might not b participating. After all, it's best to be in the midst of the action, instead of watching frm the cement floor. Lol!

OK, so this morning I finished reading HP5. I'm gonna go get HP6 later. N games too! I've been dying to buy sum games. Mayb Counter Strike n sum role-playing games, the kind I lik. Oh yeah, Wei Shern, u HVE to bring me for McD's Ramadhan buffet lah!

Do y'all agree tht the world is really small? An ensemble mate of mine, Melanie, whom I call Brittany (don't ask y, there IS a reason but I don't wanna waste my time typing abt it) studies in Sri KL, n she's Shelly's sklmate! OMG. Shelly msg-ed me on Friendster n asked me abt it. Then, well, yalah. Also, evrytime I talk to her, I'd ask her when's she going back to China, or is she there. So this time was no diff. N her response was, "Omg, AMANDA HOI JIA ERN!!! I told u so many times adi. I came back frm Shanghai last yr." Hahaha. Can't blame me lah. She's been in 3 skls in 2 yrs. Oh wow! Hehe.

So, yalah, tht's all I wanna blog abt now. Mayb I'll edit this post later n write abt wat games I bought (if I did) n whether I got HP6 (if the books in MPH r in good condition).

I tot during exams I'd keep my distance frm Streamyx, but it's the other way around. Lol. Mayb cos now tht we end at 5:45 PM evryday cos of the fasting month, I hve loads of time to ramble =)

Today's papers were Living Skills n Geography. The former was easy. Hehe. But tht's cos I studied lah. Geography was so-so. Could answer the ques, but not all with absolute confidence. Oh well. Tmrw's the last day of exams. Passed real quickly actually. I'm sort of hyped tht it's the last day, but it wasn't all tht stressful. Haha.

So, it was OK today. Mei Er came to the canteen - tho she really doesn't lik the place. I had burger for break! Hehe. Quite nice. My new fave. I was so hungry cos I didn't eat when I was walking with Jolene. Stuffed myself silly in class. Haha. Then Chew Yong was looking thru my txt-es frm "tht" tuition person. Yong, Kee n Teng were laughing lik mad cos he translated evryting directly frm Mandarin to English so he sounded ridiculous. Lol.

Then at last I managed to pass what was left of the assam aka kidney destroyer (tht I was keeping in my pocket the whole day) to my cousin. Tried to save half, but it ended up a quarter only. So I still gave it to her lah. I mean, I kept it away frm the public eye (or rather, my frens' eyes, n I resisted also lah) so tht no one would eat it. Haha.

Anyway, I miss txt-ing a certain sumone a lot. He's not free till December =O There's really very few guys lik him, ya knw. Oh, and Lyon's got a Friendster account. Yay? Yay! Haha. Man, I dunno what else to write. So, wish me luck for my final day tmrw. Ttfn.

OK, I wanna say sumting abt teachers and their amusing (without them actually knwing they're ridiculing themselves) antics.

Situation #1:

Pn. Rose came into class during the Theory of Arts paper. "Girls, I'm sure you can see tht there's a few pages with answers?" All of us nod, stifling laughs at the stupidity of them who printed and double checked. "The skl decided to giv u all a bonus." Yeah, right! The teachers themselves are in charge of double checking and were too stupid to realize tht FIVE [5] questions had answers. Before leaving, she HAD to say, "This paper, all u need is common sense. No need to hoo hoo ha ha." She said those last four words with hand gestures summore. LOL. Talk abt teachers ridiculing themselves?

I told my elder bro, Jack n he said Pn. Rose shoulda cum into class and go: "Girls, there are sum pages with answers. I'm not exactly sure whether they're the right ones, so, well, just go ahead with your papers. Just wanted to tell you girls tht. Thank you." HARHAR! Tht's so gonna make us insecure, man.

Situation #2:

Mr. Teh was distributing the Science I papers in 2H. When he was done, he so proudly proclaimed: "NO CORRECTION!" Or, rather, it shud be, "No corrections." Lol. Looking thru all the 40 questions, there were countless grammatical errors, wrong sentence structures, misspellings... etc. etc. etc. Hahaha. Mr. Teh, or, lik my Cuz liks to say, TEHCHAIHENG (haha) always had a prob with English, n I mean - ALWAYS. =D But I guess the paper had substance, or, well, I'm just trying to add in a good word on him. Hehe.

Played captainball ryte after skl with Vincent, Gavin, Kym and more. Mei Er came to pick me after I changed in skl. Cycled (on a guy called Soon Teck's bike while he ran) all the way to the field. Stayed there till 6:40PM. Now gotta study. Sigh. Mayb I shud take a nite off n start tmrw. Haha. The exam schedule's totally reshuffled. Ah!

Anyway, jus got off the phone with Joseph. Talked for awhile only lah. I'm wondering wat shud I draw for my Arts paper. Lik, it's the same ques's lik before. Wei Shern's watching "The Banquet" tonite. NO! Lol. He said he heard frm Mervy tht I said the show wasn't nice, n it isn't. In the end, evryone dies. Jus reloaded my credit. They disappear into thin air so quickly. Haha. Buthen again, tht's cos I txt 012/017 so much at once, lik now, whr I'm spending my RM10 on Lyon. Tho tht is also my fault cos I haven't gotten him a DiGi SIM yet.

Today's exams weren't exactly wat I'd lik 'em to be. Maths II got my whole gang so frust. PJK was great! Haha, cos I studied lah. And Theory of Arts, well, u knw, no one actually bothers to actually read up on it. It's really a bore!

"Yakitate!! Japan" episodes I'm watching r getting more interesting (which here also means lamer n dumber) but they serve for good laughs now n then. I'll come online in half an hr lah. Later!

* * *

Online now. I'd lik to thank Gavin on my blog for making my day =D I was teaching him Cantonese and he's quite good.

Amanda : Lei ho ko ah!
Gavin : Ngo chi tou. Lei ho leng. Lei ho tak yi.
Amanda : Em koi sai. Ngo ho hoi sam lei chan ngo.

Lol! Now he's teaching me Hokkien. Gtg. Lessons. Haha.

Studied so darn hard for History and what came out?! Ntg tht could've matched how much I studied. Tsk tsk. Oh well, happens, doesn't it? But it was a great paper. English went well too. But Paper I, sigh, I made a stupid, big, ridiculous, stupid, big, ridiculous mistake. Ish! Was so upset abt it tht I was practically shouting at Lin Kee when she told me abt it. "What?! NO! NOOOO! Are u sure? Really? This is impossible. How could I? Oh my goodness!" Aih. But a nice thing tht happened today was me, Kee, Teng, Lavenya & Pune-chan celebrated Chew Yong's b'day, which is officially tmrw, 0ct 7!

Anyway, I can tell Wei Shern's pretty bored nowadays. Haha. Sorry I can't chat more than I always do. But I'll cya this Sunday. =) Not talking to her very much. I dunno why. Guess it's lik this sumtimes. Mayb it'll be better, mayb it won't change. Thought abt it once in awhile, but it doesn't bother me as much as the first time. So, it's alright. Also, sorry to Mei Er for always not picking up ur phone calls. Lol.

I think I'll start posting without titles, unless I really hve a nice one formed in my head. Um, well, my bedbug bites r still around, n so's Lyssa's - jus found out jus now - sigh, they nvr go away huh, Lyssa? Haha.

I find reading Harry Potter a lot more interesting than reading txtbooks - obviously - so I hve to finish it before it bothers my revision, cos I don't think I can stop. Haha.

Amanda invited me for sum Oct 14 outing, but I dunno whether I wanna go, or if I actually can. Hmm... Tht's abt all I wanna write now. Blogs are for ramblings by the owner.

I Can't Believe I'm Actually Posting This When End Yr Exams Are Just Beginning

First, I'm most probably writing this cos I'd lik to put my memories of how I felt during a rather trying time so tht I could look bak on it and be reminded of how I actually think cos it jus sort of vanishes when evryting works out again.

So, four days. It felt more lik four years. Exams were around the corner. Feelings and thoughts were a barricade to revisions. Things seemed bent on being dead wrong. But I pulled thru. Rather, He pulled me thru. It might've not felt the way I s'posed it was, but ntg else could've sustained me. Definitely not my own strength. Could this be becoming closer? Or is it jus wat I hope I shud be thinking, and therefore was thinking, knwing also tht it might jus be me thinking and not it actually being true. (A resounding 'Wow' echoes in my head as I take the time to realize I've written a sentence lik tht.) Altho I'm sure I'm sincere and really hoping tht it's truly growth tht's bringing me to think of it lik this.

Anyway, all I thought of, dreamed of revolved around the same thing. Such fervent prayers showed tht it was really what I want. But when it came, once again, tht same feeling jus disappeared - so quickly. When I feel pain, I think, 'Pls take it away,' but when pain is actually gone, I go, 'Mayb I might've been able to manage actually; I should've tried'. Madness, u think? But it is as it seems. Things are peaceful now. Feels weird, cos there's nvr really peace in between. Now I'm wondering whether I jus missed my chance of finally being free, tho it certainly didn't feel tht way. Could be it was jus the beginning stages. But there should be other chances to break it? Takes me thru a whirlwind ride evry single day.

But I knw full well how I actually feel, the feeling tht I don't feel until the moment comes - in desperation - tht it emerges and overwhelms me tht I can't understand why it's even there. Still, if I actually felt it when evryting was alright, I guess I'd really cherish in such a way tht I'd be enjoying it very much. Gah, do any of u reading this get wat I mean?

OK, 1st day of exams, I spent a lot of minutes talking to GOD. It must've been the first time I've ever spoken to Him lik tht. Jus telling Him, asking Him. Difficult tho, cos it feels lik a one-sided conversation. I was thinking today, mayb He is answering, jus tht they can't be heard. Surely He won't jus sit silently? No, of course not. Responses will come, for the joy's in the waiting. Jus help me rmb tht, Lord.