New Year's Eve

I woke up this morning to the last day of 2009. And I didn't think about that. Maybe 'cause my mind was so occupied with the three dreams I had last night. Or maybe 'cause my body ache was still around and it was, obviously, aching. Or maybe it was both.

So only now I'm thinking about it. The years before this, I was always filled with a tinge of sadness when it came to the last day of the year. I was always terribly reluctant to let go of the year, thinking that I could actually hold on to it. Ever tried getting a grasp on time? It's impossible. If you tried, you'd end up feeling hopeless. Instead, you should let it take you over. Let time play its game.

How will you spend your last day of 2009? So far, my schedule looks pretty interesting. I have to clean up my room and pack school books. Yup. I am excited. Haha. But apart from that, usually I spend every New Year's Eve in church, for watchnight service. I'm not really one for countdown parties and the sort. I don't understand why anyone would want to be in a crowded place and scream 10 to 0 and then party the night away. After that, you leave for home with a bad headache and feeling a little bit disoriented. I mean, that moment when 2009 turns to 2010, it's s'posed to hold meaning. I'd rather sit quietly and deliberate on all 2009 was to me and look ahead to 2010. I don't wanna miss the moment the clock ticks 12 midnight by dancing and jumping with a bunch of strangers.

I'm thankful that I went to camp after Christmas. I didn't want to end the year without gaining a new perspective on my life in God's sight. So when I was in camp, God shifted my view to be aligned to His view. I guess I didn't realize that my path was a little crooked. But now I do. I don't know exactly what I have to do. I don't know exactly how I have to do it. But right now I'm just thankful that I know I have to do something.

I guess when a year ends and another begins, it's not really a closing of a chapter of your life and starting a new one. Sometimes it feels that way. But it's actually a continuation. Life isn't filled with stops and gos. It goes on. A part of your life overlaps with another which overlaps with another.

This day feels just like any other normal day. I guess it doesn't know that it's the last day of the year. It doesn't know that it's New Year's Eve. But I know, and you know. So let's make it special. Whatever it is you plan to do as 2009 turns to 2010, make it a little more than just another day.